Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”
John 5:3-6 niv
Setting boundaries is the most loving thing you could do for yourself and others. If this doesn’t feel true, it’s because we have a misconception of what showing love is for another person. We often think love is about making a person feel happy all the time and giving all of ourselves to them. But this is not loving if their comfort denies them of their potential.
True love is not doing for someone what they should be doing for themselves; true love is empowering them to do all their potential asks of them.
Boundaries empower others. Our lack of boundaries only disempowers them. We see this work of boundaries on display in the life of Jesus. In John 5, Jesus encounters a disabled man who had been there for thirty-eight years. Jesus asks him, “Do you want to get well?” Instead of saying yes, the disabled man gives an odd answer. He blames others for not helping him in the pool, because he believed that would heal him. In other words, he forfeited his power. In his mind, he was powerless.
“To rescue people from the natural consequences of their behavior is to render them powerless.”
Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No
― Henry Cloud,
Now, Jesus could’ve touched him and healed him instantly. Jesus could’ve helped him into the pool. But Jesus instead chooses to heal not just his physical body, but his view of his potential as well. “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk,” Jesus tells him. Jesus’ method of healing required an exercise in the disabled man’s own power. In other words, Jesus didn’t do the work for him. He empowered him to do it on his own. We believe that loving another person means doing everything for them, but this is less love and more a control issue. With boundaries, we can love ourselves and our values while also exercising true, empowering love for another person. This is the most loving action we can do for another person–to empower them to see their own potential and live in light of God’s calling for their life. So, if you struggle to set boundaries because you believe they’re mean or not loving, remember the example of Jesus. With strong, clear boundaries, everyone wins.
The proof of spiritual cure is our rising and walking. Has Christ healed our spiritual diseases, let us go wherever he sends us, and take up whatever he lays upon us; and walk before him.
Bible HUB
Daily Reflections & Questions: “Do you want to be healed?” And his response, we might expect, to be a resounding “YES!” Instead, it is, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going, another steps down before me.” A reflection of the recurring sense of disappointment, failure and betrayal that he had repeatedly experienced over the past 38 years. But the life-giving words of Jesus changed the man’s circumstances. Jesus simply says, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk” – giving him the power to change his circumstances.
Daily Prayer: God, replace my fear with faith today. I release it to you because I know that you are greater. Lord, let your peace wash over me and calm my every nerve. Help me to have the faith to say, “not my will, but yours be done.” I trust you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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